A Tale of Two Mommies

…because more seems excessive…


From time to time I think about my delivery and brief stay in the hospital. I close my eyes and try to recall all the feelings and sensations of the process…well, not all of them. Even with an epidural, some of it just isn’t all that pleasant… But, I try to remember the final feeling of him leaving my body with a warm, ticklish “Whoosh,” and those first few moments of his life with us.

I go back earlier in the day and think about the experience. Waking up at almost exactly three in the morning to an internal, “Pop.” I replay those early, groggy curiosities and phone calls to the on-call physician, and the waiting…a lot of waiting. And, while I waited, my husband went back to sleep; how nice to be able to do that. I spent the hours until nine in the morning crocheting and watching the same Law & Order: SVU episodes that kept me company throughout my pregnancy when I didn’t have the motivation to leave the house. The surreal quiet between me and my husband…after he decided he felt rested enough to resume the day… The casual conversations that spoke of our near future, yet avoidance of all the questions elephants held on cue cards in the backseat of the car.

I remember the call to my parents as I was about to enter the second stage of labor, and telling them to fly up in the morning, knowing full well they wouldn’t wait. They missed the first word of their only grandchild’s birth.

I think of the exceptional nurse in the delivery room. I think of my husband who was told to eat before it was too late, only to be called back within fifteen minutes. I recall the sudden onset of intense pain when induced, and the equally sudden relief after the anesthesiologist’s success on his second try. I think of my husband entering the room, expecting to tend to me north of the border, yet was enlisted to hold my leg. I remember him saying, “Such a beautiful baby,” even though he can’t. Then, I was holding him, this exquisite, tiny being who made it known he was not having a good time of things.

I was taken to my room after various hands assisted with things I never imagined would require a team.

My parents taxi to their gate with a voicemail greeting of my son’s birth, and my mom’s elated proclamation that they were on their way to the hospital. Even a year later, I’m not sure how I managed to hold her off until the morning.

I remember all the other nurses whose personalities became more rugged as the shifts progressed, but there was something comforting about the snarkiest one on the overnight shift my second night.

Having brief, but the best night’s sleep I had in months to awaken unable to contain my excitement to see the little person with perfect lips and a sleepy gaze. Looking at my little man’s features as he slept, and wondering if it was okay to hold this sweet little boy who was resting bundled in his Tupperware container with his name printed on the back. The overwhelming memories of holding my son when I was alone in the room, in the quiet. The strangeness of being pregnant mere hours before, and holding him, finally, in my arms. Realizing that my voice alone gave him calm in this new, scary world. Unable to imagine him in the future, but feeling no rush for him to grow.

Now almost a year of firsts have passed, but I think to my first the most. Whoever he is and will become, he forever will be my son.


199 responses to “Magnitude

  1. Mellissa August 9, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    Your article has proven beneficial to me. It’s really educational and you are certainly very knowledgeable in this
    area. You have opened my eyes to various views on this topic with interesting as
    well as solid content.


  2. Virgx August 9, 2017 at 9:34 pm

    You’re so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything like this
    before. So wonderful to find any individual with some unique thoughts on this subject.
    really thank you for starting this up. this website is one thing that’s wanted on the web, somebody with some originality.
    useful job for bringing something new to the internet!


  3. Vigrx Plus Before And After August 9, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    Hello, your site is fantastic. We all do appreciate
    you great posts.


  4. vigrxreview08.wikidot.com August 9, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Bookmarked your wonderful website. Incredible work, unique way with words!


  5. Buy Vigrx Plus August 9, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    Loving the information on this website, you have carried out excellent job
    on the posts.


  6. Vigrix August 9, 2017 at 4:48 am

    It’s like you read my thoughts! You appear to recognize a lot regarding this, as if you wrote the e-book in it or something.

    This is a fantastic blog. I’ll definitely be back.


  7. Dannielle August 9, 2017 at 4:19 am

    This design is amazing! You obviously know how to keep a reader entertained.
    Between your humor and your videos, I was almost moved to
    start my own blog. Wonderful job. I really enjoyed what
    you had to say, and in addition to that, how you presented
    it. Too cool!


  8. Vigrx Plus Discount August 9, 2017 at 3:06 am

    You must participate in a contest for amongst the very best blogs on the web.
    I will suggest this web site!


  9. Vigrx Plus Review August 9, 2017 at 2:45 am

    Very good post, i definitely love this site, continue the good work.


  10. Vigrx Plus Review August 9, 2017 at 12:46 am

    I haven’t checked in here for some time simply because I was thinking it was getting dull, yet the last few posts are really good quality therefore I
    guess I’ll add you back to my day-to-day bloglist. You deserve it my buddy.


  11. Increase Penis Size August 6, 2017 at 12:15 pm

    Loads of outstanding writing here. I wish I saw it
    found the site sooner. Congratulations!


  12. Vigrx Plus Before And After August 6, 2017 at 11:57 am

    I’m really pleased to find this website, just what I was trying to find.
    Saved it to bookmarks.


  13. click here August 3, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Hello there! Excellent stuff, please do tell us when you post once more.


  14. solar panels July 30, 2017 at 2:38 am

    I like it when individuals ome together and share thoughts.
    Great site, stick with it!


  15. website July 20, 2017 at 7:45 am

    Hi there! 🙂 My name is Marti, I’m a student
    studying Law from Gonesse, France.


  16. more July 20, 2017 at 4:35 am

    I’m a 31 years old, married and working at the college (Integrated International Studies).

    In my spare time I teach myself Russian. I have been there and look forward
    to go there anytime soon. I love to read, preferably on my ebook reader.
    I really love to watch The Big Bang Theory and American Dad as well as documentaries about nature.
    I love Herping.


  17. Blog de Moda Jovem July 19, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Post escrita é também um diversão , se você estar familiarizado com então
    você pode escrever caso contrário é complexo


  18. forex signals review July 17, 2017 at 8:05 am

    Informative article, totally what I was looking for.


  19. best spy text messages app July 13, 2017 at 7:28 pm

    Thank you, I’ve just been searching for information approximately this subject
    for ages and yours is the best I’ve came upon so far.
    But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?


    • Allison Alter (apprehensively expecting) July 13, 2017 at 7:40 pm

      Thank you, I appreciate you taking the time for a gander at my work. My comment function makes it difficult to know specific posts people are commenting about. So, I’m not sure what you mean about my conclusion and sourcing. In general, my work is about my own experiences with parenting. Recently, I’ve started providing links to information that explains why I take the approach or view I do. The sites I select are either solid/reliable providers of information, research, or data; or ideally nonprofits that explain theories and such in line with documentation of best practice I’ve collected in my work.


  20. most accurate free tarot card reading July 9, 2017 at 6:18 am

    I really appreciate this article. I have been looking everywhere
    for this! Thank heavens I found it. You’ve made my day!
    Thanks once more.


What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: