A Tale of Two Mommies

…because more seems excessive…


From time to time I think about my delivery and brief stay in the hospital. I close my eyes and try to recall all the feelings and sensations of the process…well, not all of them. Even with an epidural, some of it just isn’t all that pleasant… But, I try to remember the final feeling of him leaving my body with a warm, ticklish “Whoosh,” and those first few moments of his life with us.

I go back earlier in the day and think about the experience. Waking up at almost exactly three in the morning to an internal, “Pop.” I replay those early, groggy curiosities and phone calls to the on-call physician, and the waiting…a lot of waiting. And, while I waited, my husband went back to sleep; how nice to be able to do that. I spent the hours until nine in the morning crocheting and watching the same Law & Order: SVU episodes that kept me company throughout my pregnancy when I didn’t have the motivation to leave the house. The surreal quiet between me and my husband…after he decided he felt rested enough to resume the day… The casual conversations that spoke of our near future, yet avoidance of all the questions elephants held on cue cards in the backseat of the car.

I remember the call to my parents as I was about to enter the second stage of labor, and telling them to fly up in the morning, knowing full well they wouldn’t wait. They missed the first word of their only grandchild’s birth.

I think of the exceptional nurse in the delivery room. I think of my husband who was told to eat before it was too late, only to be called back within fifteen minutes. I recall the sudden onset of intense pain when induced, and the equally sudden relief after the anesthesiologist’s success on his second try. I think of my husband entering the room, expecting to tend to me north of the border, yet was enlisted to hold my leg. I remember him saying, “Such a beautiful baby,” even though he can’t. Then, I was holding him, this exquisite, tiny being who made it known he was not having a good time of things.

I was taken to my room after various hands assisted with things I never imagined would require a team.

My parents taxi to their gate with a voicemail greeting of my son’s birth, and my mom’s elated proclamation that they were on their way to the hospital. Even a year later, I’m not sure how I managed to hold her off until the morning.

I remember all the other nurses whose personalities became more rugged as the shifts progressed, but there was something comforting about the snarkiest one on the overnight shift my second night.

Having brief, but the best night’s sleep I had in months to awaken unable to contain my excitement to see the little person with perfect lips and a sleepy gaze. Looking at my little man’s features as he slept, and wondering if it was okay to hold this sweet little boy who was resting bundled in his Tupperware container with his name printed on the back. The overwhelming memories of holding my son when I was alone in the room, in the quiet. The strangeness of being pregnant mere hours before, and holding him, finally, in my arms. Realizing that my voice alone gave him calm in this new, scary world. Unable to imagine him in the future, but feeling no rush for him to grow.

Now almost a year of firsts have passed, but I think to my first the most. Whoever he is and will become, he forever will be my son.


549 responses to “Magnitude

  1. Air Conditioning San Diego March 20, 2018 at 2:50 am

    Your article is definitely helpful. More than that, it really is interesting, convincing and well-written. I would desire to see even more of these types of great writing.


  2. www.localbusinesslisting.org March 20, 2018 at 12:10 am

    Wow, incredible blog format! How long have you been blogging for?
    Your website is wonderful, and content materials are very good!


  3. Herbert March 19, 2018 at 11:46 pm

    Lots of superb writing here. I wish I saw it found the website sooner.


  4. Air Conditioning San Diego March 19, 2018 at 11:09 pm

    Very good site! I truly love how it really is simple on my eyes and the articles or blog posts are
    well written. I’m wondering how I might be notified whenever a
    new post has been made. I have subscribed to your RSS which must do the trick!
    Have a fantastic day!


  5. Lyda March 19, 2018 at 10:34 pm

    Not often do I come across a weblog that’s both educational and enjoyable, and
    allow me to tell you, you may have hit the nail on the head.
    Your conceptis fantastic; the issue is something that not sufficient
    individuals are speaking intelligently about.

    I’m happy that I stumbled across this in my quest for something
    relating to this.


  6. phone psychic reading March 17, 2018 at 1:49 am

    Well written article. It will be beneficial to anybody, including me.
    Continue the good work. I cannot wait to read more posts.


  7. tarot future reading March 17, 2018 at 12:42 am

    It can be tough to write about this topic. I think you did a fantastic job though!
    Thanks for this!


  8. free accurate love tarot March 16, 2018 at 11:46 pm

    I merely desired to thank you a lot more for your incredible website
    you have developed here. It’s full of usefulsuggestions for those who are really interested in this
    kind of subject, mostly this post.


  9. phone psychic reading March 16, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Many thanks for this post, I am a huge fan of this web site would like to be updated.


  10. free psychics reading online March 16, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    I don’t have any idea how I ended up being here,
    however I thought this post was great. I do not know who you are but definitely you’re going to a famous blogger in case you aren’t already
    Many thanks!


  11. psychic Online Chat March 16, 2018 at 3:48 pm

    I went over this site and I think you have plenty of great information, saved to faves.


  12. Phone psychic reading March 16, 2018 at 1:59 pm

    I just wanna input that you have a good website and I enjoy the design as
    well as artcles in it.


  13. http://mengancao.vn/gan-nhiem-mo-la-gi-sao-lai-goi-la-gan-nhiem-mo-2447 March 13, 2018 at 9:30 am

    My brother recommended I would possibly like this website.
    He used to be totally right. This submit truly made
    my day. You cann’t consider just how a lot time I had spent for
    this info! Thank you!


  14. http://mengancao.vn/huong-dan-cach-dung-vo-buoi-chua-gan-nhiem-mo-2392 March 13, 2018 at 9:04 am

    Hello friends, how is all, and what you want to say regarding this piece of writing,
    in my view its actually amazing in favor of me.


  15. Will March 13, 2018 at 8:27 am

    What a stuff of un-ambiguity and preserveness of
    valuable know-how concerning unpredicted feelings.


  16. Http://beta6.websitetoolbox.com/vb/Member.php?98261-ankle0condor March 11, 2018 at 6:09 am

    Wow! This blog looks exactly like my old one! It’s on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much
    the same layout and design. Superb choice of colors!


  17. jual obat kuat pria March 10, 2018 at 5:18 pm

    Thіs iѕ a topic which is close to my heart… Cһeers!
    Exacty where aree your cοntact detaіls though?


  18. www.zw-Drink.com March 10, 2018 at 7:05 am

    I hаve гead so many articles οn the topic of the blogger lovers but this рiece of wrіting is in fact a goоd paragraph, keep it up.


  19. Annmarie March 9, 2018 at 5:50 pm

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I
    have really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will
    be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again very soon!


  20. qqpoker March 9, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    It’s goіng to bbe ending of mine day, but before ending Ӏ aam reading
    this enormous piece of writing to increase my expeгience.


  21. March 7, 2018 at 6:42 am

    I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your
    website. It’s a very easy on the eyes which makes it much more enjoyable for me to come here and
    visit more often. Did you hire out a developer to create your theme?

    Superb work!


  22. aplikasi akuntansi excel jasa harga murah March 6, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Hi therdе to all, the contents present at this web site are really remarkable
    for people knowledge, well,keep up the nice work fellows.


  23. Http://Www.Lunyizhijia.com/ March 6, 2018 at 5:26 am

    Ιnfgormative article, exactly what I neeⅾed.


  24. harga readymix 2018 March 6, 2018 at 1:21 am

    Have you ever ᧐nsidеred about including a little Ьit more than just your articles?

    I mean, what you say is fundamental and еvеrything.
    But just imɑgіne if you adԁed some great pictuгes or video clips too gіve your postѕ more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with pics and video clips, this Ьlog could undeniably
    be one of the greatest in its field. Wⲟnderful blog!


  25. harga readymix 2018 March 6, 2018 at 1:20 am

    Have ʏou ever considered aboսt including a little bit
    more than just your articles? I mean, what уou say is fundamental and everything.

    But just imagine іf you added some great pictures or video clips to give yoiur posts morе, “pop”!
    Your content is exceⅼlent but with pics and video clips,
    this blog ciulԀ undeniably be oone of the greatеst
    in its field. Wonderful bⅼog!


  26. Toto Teraman March 5, 2018 at 12:09 pm

    Hello, Νeat post. There’s an issue wifh your web sіte іn internet explorer, may check this?

    IE ѕtіll iss the marketplace chiеf and a big portion oⲟf other folks will miksѕ
    your great writing because of thіs problem.


  27. http://www.qgjzslm.com/comment/html/?102189.html March 5, 2018 at 1:18 am

    I was recߋmmеnded this wweЬ site by my cousin. I am not sure ѡһetheer this poѕt is writtеn by hhim as nobody
    else know such detailed aƅout my pгoblem.
    You’re wonderful! Thanks!


  28. promo casino terbaik birasia March 4, 2018 at 10:42 pm

    I got thuis web site from mу friend whho shared with me regarding this web page and now this time I am browsing thius ԝeb page and
    reaⅾing very informative content at this time.


  29. Inge February 28, 2018 at 11:33 pm

    My family every time say that I am wasting my time here aat
    web, except I know I am getting knowlege every dday by reading such
    fastidious posts.


  30. how to make and sell postcards February 28, 2018 at 4:41 pm

    I ddo not even know how I endeed up here, but I thought this post was good.

    I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!


  31. omq-ashton.tumblr.com February 28, 2018 at 1:55 pm

    Do you mind iif I quote a couple of your posts as lolng aas I provide
    credit and sources bacck to your blog? My bblog is in the
    exdact ssame niche as yours and my users would definitely benefit from a lot of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this alright with you. Many thanks!


  32. encontrar mais informação February 28, 2018 at 8:18 am

    Great information. Lucky me I recently found your blog
    by chance (stumbleupon). I’ve saved as a favorite for later!


  33. de outros February 28, 2018 at 6:33 am

    Fastidious replies in return of this query with real arguments
    and telling the whole thing on the topic of that.


  34. postcards from the edge carrie fisher February 28, 2018 at 5:35 am

    Assking questions are in fact good thing iif you are not understanding anything fully, butt tthis
    article offers nice understanding yet.


  35. Paket Outbound Training Murah February 24, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    Youг style is realy unique compared to other foⅼks I һaѵe reаd
    suff from. I appreciate yoou for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will јust bοok mark this web site.


  36. goo.gl February 23, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Hi! Great articles here. please do keep us updated.


  37. Goo.gl February 23, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    Some genuinely nice stuff on this web site, I like it.


  38. male extra February 23, 2018 at 12:59 pm

    I just started reading and I’m glad I did. You’re an excellent blogger, one of the best that I’ve seen. This
    weblog without any doubt has some facts on topic that I just wasn’t mindful of.
    Thanks for bringing this stuff to light.


  39. essay writer February 23, 2018 at 12:47 am

    I’m amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both educative and engaging, and let me tell you,
    you have hit the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that
    not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very
    happy I stumbled across this in my search for something concerning this.


  40. bocorantogelhongkong.com February 18, 2018 at 3:25 am

    A person necessarily lend a hand to make significantly articles I might state.

    That is the very first time I frequented your website page and so far?
    I amazed with the research you made to create this particular
    post amazing. Fantastic process!


  41. bokep sex February 17, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    I do consider all of the ideas you have offered for your post.
    They are really convincing and will definitely work. Nonetheless, the posts are too short for beginners.
    Could you please lengthen them a bit from subsequent time?
    Thank you for the post.


  42. Archer February 15, 2018 at 11:01 pm

    I’ve never thought about %BT% in this manner. Thank you very much author, it was very worthwhile to read!

    I’m somewhat jealous because I can’t compose as well as you.
    Composing tasks makes me cry and nervous since
    I must write a lot because of our today’s educational program.

    Looking at this, I couldn’t think about how can I take care of the difficulty without this site Archer.
    In-depth overviews of the most well-known paper penning organizations can guide each and every customer to select a suitable organization.


  43. matrimony sites February 13, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    Hi Dear, are you actually visiting this web site regularly, if
    so thben you will without doubt obtain pleasant experience.


  44. matrimony sites February 13, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    Very dezcriptive post, I enjoyed that a lot. Willl there bbe a part 2?


What are your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: