Letter to the Editor
May 19, 2015
Posted by on
I would like to take this opportunity to extend my heartfelt thanks for parking your obscenely large SUV unnecessarily close to my car in the mall parking garage this afternoon. I truly understand your great limitations in finding space for your vehicle that doubles as a participant in a monster truck performance. Given that every other space after mine in the row was vacant, only solidifies my empathy for your great need to park in such close proximity to my car.
Your awareness of your surroundings is as impeccable as your ability to back into a space; my one-year-old was in awe as well. I apologize for any unfortunate scratches or dings to your car door in my efforts to squeeze my body into position, so that my toddler could be safely buckled into his car seat. I thank you for nurturing my self-esteem; it is not often I have the opportunity to view myself as possessing a waif body type. I am truly grateful.
Had I on hand a pen and paper I would have expressed my sentiments in a graciously worded note on your windshield. Unfortunately, my gratitude will be as unspoken as your thoughtfulness toward me and my son. May your day be blessed with all the consideration you bestow on others. You, Sir/Madame, are an asshat.