Red Rover, Red Rover, Come Hug Me All Over
May 20, 2015
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Yet, another thing that probably makes me a terrible person. Many times when my son is upset, not on the verge of a full blown meltdown, but losing his patience and generally feeling as though I am not properly tending to him in the moment, I will sit on the floor in front of him trying one of my various distraction techniques. He’ll remain stationary for a moment fussing before limping along to me in needy pleads. He doesn’t hug quite yet, but he will stand up and fall on me, almost gripping whatever part of me is in his reach. I hold him, which usually does little to satisfy him, but I hold off completely meeting his needs because I love the feeling of him climbing on me in desperate bodily gestures. Only moments pass before I embrace him in the way that is sure to calm, but I do love the rising climax…
Not all of his pre-contemplative hug gestures are as dramatic. Sometimes he is silly or in an unspecified jovial frame of mind, and in need of cuddles. I greedily absorb every minute of his fumbling movements toward me and his tentative climbs to a standing position, gripping my shoulders, falling into me.
I love it the most when I’m standing, and he burrows his head into my legs, arms outstretched and grabbing. Then, he will look up at me, chin grazing my legs with an adoring look that he must model after me because how can he simply know that expression? It’s at this moment when I feel that piece of myself traveling independently of my person with moments of connecting flow.