Unacknowledged Murphy’s Law No. 201
February 4, 2016
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Your child will only gag himself to the point of vomiting…everywhere…when you spend an entire evening trying to avoid giving said child a bath, managing to survive until thirty minutes before he goes to sleep for the night. The purging episode will occur promptly when you and your husband begin your silent cheers that bedtime will soon wash over the house in a grand and beautiful light of marvelousness. The true purpose, however, of such a purging event is for your child to remind you with the projectile remnants of an entire day’s food intake, that the behavior induced from not napping will never be the grand finale of a genuinely craptastic afternoon and evening.
Your one consolation when reflecting on the tail end of the evening is that your child mostly threw up on the floor and your husband. At this time it is best to suppress the lingering thoughts that twice in a row squarely places you on borrowed time.