A Tale of Two Mommies

…because more seems excessive…

The Sum of Our Parts

There was an incident today.  I was wrong, completely.  I’ll spare the details because I’m already struggling with a hefty dose of mom guilt over this, and I don’t want to risk further, albeit unlikely, battery in my comment section about the error of my judgment.  To avoid, however, the annoyance of a post entirely too cryptic from the get-go, suffice it to say it involved a soiled diaper changing location that was not ideal.  I felt uneasy about it at the time, but determined it was the best option in a series of problematic options.  I was reported to personnel for a judgment call by an individual who, apparently, decided I was not up to her high standards of parenting.

I wasn’t intending on a post of this nature.  I don’t want to come across as blaming and deflecting to detract from my impropriety.  I don’t want to make excuses for my actions.  I get it.  I was wrong for my decision.  It wasn’t the first time, and certainly won’t be the last.  I would continue to feel bad even if an employee was not called to redirect my behavior.  I was doing the best I could for my children, and that’s the point.

So, here is my rub that is prompting me to immortalize a memory I’d rather forget.  I’m balancing between a two-month-old infant and a two-year-old who is impulsive and cranky.  While I try to be good humored and natured about things, I’m clearly struggling.  As a mother with a youngish child of her own at the same establishment, what prevented her from offering to help instead of taking the punitive route?  On my end it would have been a valued offering, such gestures usually are.  How do I know?  I try to be that helpful parent.  Maybe there isn’t something I can physically do, but at the very least I’m the one to crack a joke when I see another parent in public with his or her child who is in the throws of an impressive tantrum.  Maybe I risk the joke falling flat, but in every instance of the many, I see relief wash over the parent’s face.  In that moment I’ve communicated that I get it; the parent is doing the best he or she can.

I will end with that.  While there are other pieces to this other mother’s behavior that are troubling, I hope this post inspires others to reach out to those visibly struggling.  I don’t know if it would change the world, but that lowly individual would probably appreciate it.

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